There was an article in the New Paper about this Taiwanese man, identified only as Lin, and how he drove his scooter into the sea in Gao Xiong, Taiwan. Except that he was deliberately riding into the sea with his 1-year-old daughter in tow. And he left her to drown while he got out himself. On Mother’s Day of all days. The child had been in the custody of the father, as the parents were divorced.

As always, I am deeply affected and saddened by such news. The first thought is always, how can anyone commit such cruel acts to defenseless helpless children? And your own flesh and blood too? Then it hit me. Why was the custody not awarded to the mother? Is it the judicial system in Taiwan, which only award custody to the parent of means? Or is it the mother who had demonstrated an inability in taking care of her own child? I guess I will never know. I only know that whatever the circumstances were, it will be turmoil of inner of hell for the mother from now on. Guilt and regret remain the most powerful and unforgettable pain, capable of etching indelible but deep scars on a person’s life.

I still recall a tragedy that occurred a few years ago. A baby girl was also killed by her mother’s boyfriend when the mother foolishly placed the girl in his care. He was buying 4D or Toto or something, and was angered and irritated by the baby’s crying. After trying to feed her unsuccessfully, he rubbed medicated oil onto her face, nostrils and mouth repeatedly. The poor child died of castor oil poisoning on the same day.

Why do some mothers give birth and not take care of their children? Why do some women give birth when it is obvious they do not love children, and proceed to show such lack of love to their offspring?

I’m sorry if I may sound heartless when I say this but at least I feel that the dead children are at peace now. They know no pain, no abuse, and no harsh words where they are now. Which is much more than I can say for the living children I have seen or heard of. Mothers who cannot be bothered to spend time with the love-starved children. Mothers abusing their children physically and emotionally. Mothers who force their children to buy drugs for them. Mother who force their daughters to satisfy the sexual perversions of their husbands or boyfriends.

Sometimes I think it is a really evil world we live in. I wish that I could do everything in my power to protect my children. And I will. But it will never be sufficient unless coupled with God’s blessing, favour and grace.

A few days back I had lunch with an ex-friend (well, she’s officially ex after that lunch because life’s too short for toxic friends) and she was bitching about her husband and how he treats their five-year-old son. Apparently the said husband has the habit of whacking the poor boy on the head whenever there’s a perceived mistake on his part. And the boy is manifesting signs of trouble through his withdrawn silence and increasing moroseness. I asked her what she was doing to remedy the situation. Her answer shocked me. She tried talking to him “several times but no use, so give up”, in her own words. And the onus is, she is dependent on him for money so she is resigned to taking things as strata. I was outraged. She is educated so it’s not as if she is this poorly educated factory worker who will starve to death with her child. This is selfish and spoilt behaviour at its ugliest. A mother who will tolerate her child being abused for the sake of material comforts and an easy life. Even docile Bern chose to garner her strength and walk away from a marriage which gave her and her child no happiness.

And it saddens me when how fellow Christians get all judgmental even the wives get beaten up to pulp and they still go, oh, but God hates divorce and mindlessly quote the oft-quoted Malachi in the bible to validate the point. I knew this other seemingly pious and devout fire-and-brimstone Christian who always quoted the bible to condemn and criticize. She was a manager in one of the insurance giants, managing a small agency in which she found it hard to manage or even keep her agents. I soon found out why. A narrow minded, petty and vindictive mind is an obstacle for any leader, and will soon manifest in the performance of the company. Her agency was in dire straits with her being the only sales person making any ripple. She knew I was running a freelance PR outfit and wanted my help to revamp her marketing model and open marketing revenues in terms of business and human resources. Fine. I helped her on substantially reduced terms, seeing that we are church mates. The staff that I had brought in all left after a few months, but not before calling me to bitch/ lament about the management. OK, to give her the benefit of the doubt, perhaps they were all bad employees. But I was really pissed when each time she paid me grudgingly for the write-ups I did for her in websites and in the papers, never once without reminding me that she was doing me a favour by helping a “Christian sister”. And of course, she made disparaging remarks about me having gotten preggers before marriage (God hates premarital sex and is punishing me for it) and me going for a divorce (again, quoting Malachi, and that I will surely burn in hell). Well, maybe I would, but that’s for God to say, not her, to say the least. Needless to say, that’s another toxic person I got out of my life.

And I had found out along the way that she wasn’t the only Christian like that. It seems that there are tons of judgmental uptight Christians out there and you can’t miss them as they go round like torch bearers for Christianity armed with their holier than thou aura. Never have I been more tempted to tell anyone to shut the hell up and shove their torches where the sun don’t shine.

Humph.