Now that the Elections are over, people seem to think that, well, everything is over, wait for another five years lor. On the contrary, I beg to differ. The ball game has merely just started.

They start the ball rolling with the arrest and release of James Gomez. I was astounded with the efficiency of the government. Boy, you have to give them credit where it is deserved, especially where it is rare.

Next, without much hoolala, they will quietly introduce price hikes in public transport, electrical tariffs and child care costs etc.

Then somewhere in 2011, there will be budget surpluses calculated from complex formulas unfathomable by you and I, because it only makes sense to Presidential Scholars and super scale civil servants. And of course, it will coincide with the Elections date.

*****

You know, the recent election is not without its merits. For one, I might consider writing a book on the PR gaffes and the guffaws they created. I would even give it a catchy name like:

Stupid PR Tragedies to avoid (Lessons from the Singapore Elections 2006)

Like I mentioned in my earlier post, it has been proven time and again that the tired upgrading carrot and the wilted stick of scare tactic do not work. And for the hell of me, I wonder why do they use these so called strategies again and again after slamming their heads against a stone wall.

1. The soft approach VS Hard ball tactics

The people of Hougang and Potong Pasir had without a doubt indicated that they do not give a rat’s ass if you withhold any from of perks from them. Even promises of S$180 million did not work, do you think abalone porridge would? Please.

In any case before I go into specifics, I would like to outline the circumstances as follows:

Glaring facts from Financial Times (5 May 2006) show that

· Although unemployment is low at 3.4%, the rate is nearly double for those over 40 with little education.
· The income of the poorest 20% fell nearly 15% in nominal terms between 1998 and 2003 to an average of US$505 per month.
· Although Singaporeans have one of the world’s highest rates of home ownership at more than 90%, house prices have fallen by more than 30% and many are sitting on paper losses.

What does this translate in laymen terms? It simply means that, in addition to have their salary slashed, they are also screwed because they cannot sell or downgrade their houses as that means a loss in realization for these folks. Meanwhile, they are forced to continue servicing their mortgage, with increasing difficulty on their reduced income while the costs of living continues to escalate. Not forgetting of course, they will soon face price hikes in public transport, means testing in healthcare and increasing job market hostility due to foreign human resource (lower costs and better educated)

This is happening on the ground and I don’t blame the PAP MPs for not getting the picture. How can they, with their million-dollar salary package, Lexuses and Ardmore Park condos? Let’s all not be too demanding and unreasonable now.

And let it not be said that they do not deserve their salaries. Lee Boon Yang intervened in time to rap Royston Tan for making the degenerative Cut� which poke fun at our respectable Censorship Department, without which the engaging movies at Yangtze would not be possible.

Khaw Boon Wan rightfully making a big fuss over the hoodwink� issue. But a word of caution though. Don’t sweat the small stuff and miss the whole big picture. For one, subutex abuse had been rampant both by drug addicts and by the errant doctors prescribing it for quick profits. It’s been in the news for THREE YEARS now, time to do SOMETHING about it before it blows up in your face a second time. Remember the NKF gaffe? You may have smoothed over that one, but the public may not be so forgiving or forgetful the second time round.

So, here’s an idea from someone who’s not hindered by the difficulty of all that salaries, Lexuses and Ardmores. It’s crazy, but it might just work ok?

Here goes.

How about actually using the monies of the taxpayers towards upgrading of the estates determined by need and not political control? That means gearing some of the much needed money towards Hougang and Potong Pasir, two ageing estates which definitely require help in terms of infrastructure and transport planning.

As opposed to candidates puffing hot air, a SM (no less) having to stake his reputation on the victory of the ward (oh ma, the shame!) and rubbing the people up the wrong way.

In Chinese, there’s a saying: Chi(1) Nuan(3) Bu(4) Chi(1) Ying(4). Loosely translated that means, amenable to the soft approach and opposed to hard-ball tactics.

I am surprised that our powerfully bilingual Presidential (A1 O’ Levels, Distinction in Chinese A’ Levels and Special Paper) Scholars did not think of this. After all, it’s so simple that even I who flunked 1st Language Chinese and got a shameful B3 for 2nd Language Chinese, could fathom the simplicity.

2. Form over substance

The whole furor over the alleged “fixing” and “dishonesty” got played out in headlines, took up news pages and lasted a good few days before the PAP decided that enough was enough, let’s move on to more pertinent issues.

Firstly, this is stupid PR again, because the intelligentsia got insulted and even I, a certified bimbo, took exception to the fact that they proclaim that we glanced through news pages and aren’t aware of the situation. Now they proclaim us a smart lot who gave them a strong mandate.

Secondly, it’s stupid PR because the very next day after the Senior Minister instructed us to move on� (I’m starting to think this is their favourite catch phrase), Wong Kan Seng has to come up with a 11 page statement to the contrary. Splitting ranks is always bad PR.

3. Hitting the underdog is a doggedly stupid thing to do

Given the Singaporeans’ feelings for the underdog, as can be seen from the winners of Project Superstar, Superhost and Singapore Idol, they root for the underdog. So if you come in, blazing like the saviour you think you are, attacking the underdog for not having enough money (hey we all, exception of ministers, have this problem, so we empathise), for being too old, etc etc etc, it will and did blow up in your face. And it’s also doubly stupid because your boss is older than the person you are casting aspersions on for being old. Whats the logic, dude?

So, it goes in the rule book, never hit the underdog. You may appear to assist him and in the process, make him look weak and redundant, but do not in any circumstances, attack him viciously in public.

4. Say sorry, even though you don’t mean it

Irene (sorry is not in my dictionary) Ng may well take a leaf out of her boss’s book. Lee Hsien Loong, after being caught in a major gaffe in saying he’d have to spend time to fix the opposition and buy his supporters’ votes had gamely apologized for his comments. Oopsie, but no harm done. Singaporeans are all cool because look, we know this is happening, and it’s refreshing because he admitted it with such candour, so when he apologized, we being such a forgiving lot, promptly forgave him and moved on�. SM Goh must be so proud of us.

So, see, it wouldn’t kill you to say sorry, even if you don’t mean it. Just look the part and people will be generally nice about it. Well, the well brought up ones, anyway. People who cannot say sorry should be shipped to countries where you know, they stone you for making a mistake, or cut off an arm or tongue or something. Drafting a lengthy meaningless and pointless letter to ST forum supposedly in response to a writer’s query, but did not cover any of the points raised by the said writer is just well, pointless, pardon the pun.

5. Only accuse your opponent of something that you clearly are NOT

To quote two examples: Irene Ng calling the opposition troublemakers� and Lee Yi Shyan calling the same said donkeys� is just a hoot you know. You want to be known for being somber and wise politicians, not jokers. It’s so like the pot calling the kettle black and it only makes people giggle non stop, which is I am sure, NOT their objective.

6. If you have a tendency to put your foot in your mouth, shut the latter.

Our Health Minister, Khaw Boon Wan had suggested that the best form of health insurance might be your son-in-law. So if your daughter chooses not to marry, or had married a loser, you’re screwed. But if he had meant it as a joke, then thank God he’s a politician and not a comic. Geez, close call.

But that’s better than the Malaysian MP Fatah Harun, who proclaimed divorcees and single mothers as gatal (loosely translated as promiscuous and randy). Man, what I’d would like to know is, how did he know? Speaking through personal experience, eh? Who’s the randy goat now?

7. Turn your opponents’ insults and insinuations to your advantage

Now, Sylvia Lim has used this strategy effectively numerous times, having been given the right ammunition by the PAP. Just to list a few:

To the comment that she is only a graduate, one out of the many thousands� out there, she retorted that it’s good, at least she is one of the people and can relate to them. Whoa, 1 for WP, -5 for PAP.

Questioned by the press on her views on the Inderjit Singh-James Gomez saga, she wisely proclaimed, that goes to show that you can never have a casual conversation with the PAP. I was in a cab when I heard it on the radio and the cab swerved dangerously when the cab driver and I could not, for the hell of us, control our laughter.

At a WP rally where tens of thousands turned up, Low Thia Khiang put it to them that the PAP had said that they are only there to see [a] show. And exercising his political mastery, he asked them a simple question. Are they? To which the crowd was roused to indignation and protested in unison. Damn, if he’s not in the opposition, I would have thought he was LKY’s prot�ge. The eloquence and understanding of people was uncanny. The move to say the Pledge was brilliant, to say the least. With a simple move, he moved the people’s hearts, roused emotions, and put to rest any insinuations of partisan interests.

So, do not get angry when your opponent craps on you. Use the above tactic to your advantage, and only sue as a LAST resort, ok?

OK that’s all for now, just a preview. Buy the book when it’s out. A peanut out of every dollar shall be donated to PAP for lending kind inspirations to this book.