OK, I’ve posted the pictures of my precious gifts on Mother’s Day and I really want to talk about the real meaning fo Mother’s Day to me.

I’ve been very down with flu for the last few days, and what Big and my children did for me, mean as much as they gifts they gave me.

The children behaved themselves, knowing that I am unwell. The usual raucous playing was toned down. The constant “mummy mummy” ceased.

Bog, to my utter surprise, completely took over the management of my household, right from the preparation of their school supplies to their bathtime and bedtime.

I must admit that I am very surprised. This is a single man, with no experience handling children that we are talking about.

Passed with flying soaring colours, I say.

***

Germaine spoke to me last night before I dozed off groggily to the influence of polarax.

“Mummy, you know the gifts are just an extra right?”

“What do you mean extra? Extra to what?”

“Mummy we already love you very much. We love you everyday. Not only on Mother’s Day. The gifts are only to make you happier.”

At this point, my grogginess lifted a little and I felt the tears prickling at the back of my eyes.

Geanyne ran over to me and hugged me saying,

“Mummy, I love you so much.”

No matter how difficult the path of single motherhood might have been, I never regretted the decision I made ten years ago.

***

Mother’s Day never held much great significance for me. It’s the same to me as Valentine’s Day (everyday is, if you are in love..) It’s more like a day where restaurants have a field day at the cash registers, if you ask me. However, you cannot not pander to it if you don’t want your mothers to feel left out… So.

Anyway, I take my mum out for dinners so regularly that the Mother’s Day is just one of that. A regular dinner, nothing out of the blue.

Mother’s Day and all its commercialism aside, what does motherhood really mean to you?

I think of the decision I made ten years ago.

It was a hard decision.

I had sleepless nights.

The pregnancy was a total surprise.

I did not want an abortion.

I did not want to stop flying.

I did not want to murder my unborn child.

Most of all, I did not want to marry the child’s father.

But still, end of the day, I decided to keep the baby and quit flying. I did not want to be one of those mums who spent more time on their work than on their children.

And even though the pregnancy was unplanned, the baby was and is a loved and wanted baby and never for one moment, I never felt that I needed to be “persuaded into having this baby” or felt that the baby was foisted on me.

Although I made a wrong decision (against my better judgement, I can see now) to marry her biological father and the marriage ended in shambles, I am thankful I have two great kids out of the union.

Both my babies were very much wanted and loved by me.

Motherhood along the years had been very tough for me, largely due to the hands off nature of their biological father.

It was tough, but I survived. I held on, with the strength I gathered from their little hands grasping mine, with their faces nested into my bosom.

It made me into a tough little bitch but that’s life.

Motherhood means that much to me, my 100% and more into providing their needs and wants. Protecting them from the perils of growing up. Being their friend. Spending as much time with them as I can.

Not providing a few pretty meals. Not jumping at the examination marks. Not screaming and nagging. (ok, I do scream sometimes.) Not bribing them with pricey toys in place of your absence. Etc etc.

To me, it’s the sacrifice of my carefree youth, my freedom and my space.

But I have never regretted a second of it.

That’s Motherhood and the remembrance of Mother’s Day to me.