..at this article by Telegraph, which hints with tongue in cheek that Idle Parenting = Happy Kids. Indeed their conviction at cramming their children’s schedule to the brim with wholesome activities is to the very contrary of the DH Lawrence essay, Education of the People, published in 1918: “How to begin to educate a child. First rule: leave him alone. Second rule: leave him alone. Third rule: leave him alone. That is the whole beginning.”

I have always been an advocate of “Idle Parenting” for want of a better phraseology. I detest pushing my children into enrichment activities which is of no use to their childhood at all. I don’t see the point of urging them towards “hobbies” in which they have no interest in. If you think about it, they have a daunting period of 15 - 19 years ahead of them for the very purpose of education. Why then, the seemingly frantic rush to shorten their carefree childhood? I do not and cannot comprehend. If you are clucking away at what a bad mother I am for not “giving them an advantage”, don’t bother. My girls are healthy happy kids (my primary concern) and my elder girl coped very well when she started school. She picked up reading when she was 5 without me pushing phonics and flashcards at her, and is comfortable in both her languages despite not having tuition or enrichment classes. Honestly, so what if your child starts reading at 2? So what if she aces the class every year? I mean, really, think about it. So what?? Does it guarantee an iron clad elitism? (perhaps). Is it really all that important? Is the child happy? Is it worth all the frenzied stress, pressure and constant need to compare and one-up? Well, it’s not, to me.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not the kind of mum who neglects her children’s needs in sloth. The girls go for swimming lessons but only because I feel it is a survival skill (this is Singapore after all, surrounded by waters blah blah blah). This is also because they expressed interest in learning and have great fun at it. We spend more time with Ger in her math because she resists tuition and Kumon or whatever will just make her life miserable. I tried to enrol Ger in abacus when she was younger just to see if she would find any “fun” in it but no luck there. She enjoyed art classes so I encouraged her in that area. She has been selected to join the school netball team because she enjoys and excels at it. Gean had recently expressed interest in Speech and Drama and ballet, so we will nurture that accordingly. My point is, I will only nurture them wherever they had expressed interest, and not where I feel it will be good for them. I learnt from mistakes too. I tried to “encourage” Ger in ballet lessons, yes you can stop rolling your eyes already, yes the same sporty spunky Ger, and of course it went up in smoke. Both the idea and my money.

Of course, momzillas may totally disagree with my “bourgeois” ideas and sneer at me as a bad irresponsible mum. That’s fine. I can answer to my principles and integrity. However what I don’t understand, really really do not understand is: if they love their child all that much, then why are they the ones hindering the child from happiness and a well state of mind and being?

Think buying gadgets of all manners is a way of doting on the kids? Rather I think it stifles their creativity and ability to think out of the box. I visited a quaint little self funded Children’s Museum at Arab Street area and I was floored by the self made toys that children made to entertain themselves, consisting of match boxes, rubber bands and other simple whatnots. The simple games of five stones and marbles etc delighted the kids back then like no other. What happened to this generation where children do not know how to entertain themselves other than DS Lite and PSPs? I am guilty as charged too. If I don’t bring either during any of our trips abroad, I would be subjected to much whining and grumbling! Hindsight = 20/20.

Till date, I resist buying the Nintendo Wii for the very fact that it is a parody of the activity it simulates. Virtual bowling? Ridiculous as you don’t feel the weight of the bowling ball and you cannot gauge the angle of your pitching accurately. Virtual tennis? It completely affects your swing. Same goes with the virtual boxing, golfing etc. Sure, it’s fun for like a few minutes and then what? Total waste of time, money and leeching of skill. In fact, I am starting to regret buying the PSP and the DS Lite for Ger on the spur of my “I have to be a Dad and Mum for them and therefore they must never feel lacking” guilt. On hindsight, a game of chess, a game of marbles in the park or a good book is a much better way to pass the time! Ah, again.. hindsight=20/20. Sigh.

Disclaimer: To all the momzillas out there, please do not feel cross with me. In fact, you should be thrilled because that essentially means… you have one less competitor! LOL.