Happys

1. It was our 43rd National Day last Saturday! It was a little unfortunate that it was just one day after the Olympics opening because the contrast between both celebrations was accented. Of course our National Day parade looks a little wanting in comparison. Lol. But at least we didn’t resort to lip syncing, fake fireworks or even fake minorities. Geez, I am a Chinese (albeit Singapore born) but the little antics of China never cease to disgust me a little. Face versus integrity, and you would have thought the choice is clear. All these political manoeuvrings, and for what? Bad press and international mockery.

2. We went to Hort Park on Saturday morning and then to Big’s Mum’s birthday celebrations in the evening. It was an early celebration to tie in with the National Day and I am so happy to see the kids having fun with Big’s niece and nephews. Everyone dotes on the kids, I can see it and I feel all fuzzy inside. Now it seems that my worries then were all unfounded. They will always ask about the business and the kids whenever we visit. Everyone seems amazed that both of us are working, I am also running a business, the kids are doing well and we don’t even have a maid! I guess it helps that we are both quite mad.

3. We got to spend a full weekend with the kids and it feels so.. right. Can you imagine when it is not a given right but an extra bonus to spend the weekend with your kids? So folks, treasure what you have

4. I took the leave in lieu on Monday to spend more time with the family. We went to Sentosa via cable car and chilled at the beach for a bit.

5. I had lunch with a friend I haven’t seen for a while and it feels .. strangely comforting. I haven’t met up with the asshat for quite some time but still the conversation and jokes flowed easily.

6. I finally had closure on a very unpleasant matter and it became a persona non grata thing. The strange thing is, I actually felt a little sad.

7. I had some emails from both friends and readers, offering a listening ear and comfort. One that stood out (and which she allowed me to share here) was from Sherry:

I was very touched and comforted that you guys grew with me in this blog, came alongside with me in my journey, read about my life, put up with my rants and whinging and even offered me support and comfort in times of need. At a time when I questioned if I should even carry on blogging as it seemed to instill so much jealousy, envy and unpleasantness in some, you reminded me that there are roses amongst the thorns. Thank you so much. I appreciate it deeply.

8. Read a very good book by Jodi Picoult - Perfect Match. It’s a powerful, emotionally charged book with fleshed out characters. As a mother, it was very painful for me to read it. The moral dilemma of vigilante justice and the line between right and wrong was explored alongside with the discovery of the protagonist’s son being sexually abused. I find myself questioning - what would I do if I were her? The answer scared me a little. A most excellent book. The ending is somewhat indulgent, but I won’t do a spoiler here.

Not so Happys

1. I learned that birds of a feather flock together. In a way, it is a blessing because there goes another round of natural elimination.

2. I did a mini reboot in the friends department. People who play mind games, people who play the no answer game, people who have hidden agendas, people who are toxic - right click, delete. I am 30 this year. I don’t have all that many marbles to waste.

3. I am frightened by how ruthless I can get. And I am not entirely pleased with the manner in which I responded. At a time in my life where I smugly thought I am nicely mellowed as compared to when I was in my chilli padi twenties, I had a few pegs neatly taken off me when my temper rode furiously away on a wild unbridled horse. No, I am not pleased at all. I thought the first attempt was excellent and elegant. However after the family got involved, it all went downhill. Suffice it to say that it is clear to all what my weak button is. How do I control it from being detonated next time? I still don’t have the answer now.

4. People asking for something that they can jolly afford puts a bad taste in my mouth. It’s like some quasi celebrities who go around fishing and angling for sponsorship for their weddings. Unless you are a huge celebrity from which sponsorships and endorsements have a reaped reward of massive awareness, I don’t see why businesses want to waste their resources by sponsoring people of limited visibility or of no impact on their business. It’s simply not viable and sensible business-wise. Everybody wants to save money, that I can understand. But if the man on the streets can afford the nitty gritty costs of marriage, I fail to see why a “celebrity” cannot.  Honestly if I were the bride, I would feel a little insulted that my husband is too cheap and stingy to spend some money on the wedding - and go round asking for endorsements.

My point is - if you can afford it, keep your dignity and pride intact. If people want to sponsor you, they will come to you, without you angling and whining for it. It’s so classless, tasteless and whateverless.

5. I was unhappy with some things in my life. Having an existential crisis again. *rolls eyes*